Humour Hungary

Italy cuts diplomatic ties with Hungary after Orbán’s orange pizza “provocation”

Because humour is a fitting tool to discuss a world gone topsy-turvy, Kafkadesk is happy to present its new Satire column.

Budapest, Hungary – Hungary’s dwindling list of friends and allies is now another name shorter.

“We thought Hungary, its people and its Prime Minister were our friend. We were mistaken”, Italian PM Meloni said during a press conference last week.

Ms. Meloni’s extraordinary press conference was called only a few hours after Viktor Orbán posted a picture on social media of himself standing in front of a pizza with orange toppings. Baked by a local Kiskőrös pizzeria for the anniversary of the 1848 Hungarian revolution, the indecent meal was named after Orbán himself, and included jalapeño peppers, chicken, honey, and BBQ sauce on top of orange slices.

Adding insult to injury, the Hungarian Prime Minister is seen smiling in the picture, although mystery remains as to whether or not he actually ate the thing.

“Mr. Orbán’s latest provocation has made a mockery of our bilateral relationship and is tantamount to spitting in the face of millions of Italians. With the unanimous support of my cabinet and MPs, I have taken stock of this, and made the decision to recall our ambassador in Budapest and sever all diplomatic ties with the state of Hungary, starting March 20”, she sombrely announced as reporters erupted in cheers in the press room.

“This move is unprecedented on so many levels”, comments Roberto R., assistant professor at the University of Bologna’s political science department.

“Never in the history of the European Union have two member states severed diplomatic ties in such an absolute way. Never in our country’s modern history have Italians agreed on anything with such unanimity. We’re entering unknown territory”.

EU institutions were in a state of chaos on Monday morning as Italian delegates – working in close quarters with their Hungarian counterparts as per the alphabet – were packing up their bags and relocating their offices.

It is only thanks to the Irish, acting as unwitting buffer zone to its two office neighbours, that brawls and physical altercations were avoided.

Early opinion polls show that about 98% of the Italian population supports Ms. Meloni’s decision to cut ties with Hungary, indicating that her government might come out stronger from a national ordeal which has left many an Italian reeling and cursing in the streets.

Some pundits suggested the provocation was deliberate, and meant to cement Orbán’s rep as the bad-boy and troublemaker of the EU.

But according to Hungarian political journalist Lili H., the Prime Minister clearly overplayed his hand.

“I think Orbán overestimated or misread the nature of his rapport with Ms. Meloni”, she says. “He probably thought their relationship had reached a stage where he could make small jokes like this, where it would be seen as quirky and cute. In over twelve years in office, this might be his biggest PR mistake to date.”

Reminder: all the events, quotes and situations mentioned in this article are fictitious. Check out our Humour section for more.